Who's in Your Inner Circle? How Your Closest Connections Shape Your Success

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Your success is shaped by the five people you spend the most time with — choose wisely.
"You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with" is a famous quote by renowned entrepreneur and motivational speaker Jim Rohn. From a business leadership perspective, the statement suggests that those with whom you spend the most time wield a significant impact on your mindset, behaviors and the success of your business.
The true power of your people falls far beyond the transactional nature that many of your standard business relationships afford you. While accountants, bankers, employees and even customers are certainly key contributors to your journey, the effect they have on your organization's values and vision is sometimes limited.
What Rohn is really referring to here is the quality of our closest associations and how they influence us, either positively or negatively, in how we lead and grow our businesses.



Take a moment to think about your closest circle. Those five people who you regularly turn to or associate with. What types of interactions do you experience with them that you believe add value to either you personally or to your business as a whole? In what ways do they shape your behaviors, drive innovation and inspire you to be better than you were yesterday?
Now, let's do a little math. Out of those five people, how many would you estimate have a positive impact on who you are, what you do and how you do it? Let's suppose your answer is "two." That means only 40 percent of your key relationships provide a constructive benefit to you. Conversely, this also translates to the preponderance of your core connections having either a negative or negligible effect on you, your goals and your business.


I am not suggesting you eliminate these people from your life. By recognizing their influence, you are far better equipped to augment these relationships and nurture others that provide you with more depth and vitality.
Related: 6 Ways to Maintain Boundaries with the People Who Work for You

Who's in your room matters​

A few years ago, I experienced a bit of an epiphany. As I sat at my desk just before noon, I realized that nearly half the day had passed, and I had little or nothing to show for it. I am hardly one to waste time, so how did the entire morning get away from me?
I realized I was entangled in far too many low-impact, unfulfilling and, quite frankly, draining conversations. It is not that I didn't value the people with whom I interacted that day, but as a business leader, I recognized that I must leverage my engagement at a higher-yielding, more strategic level.


So, I made a conscious decision to invest my time almost entirely with people who energized me—people whom I admire and respect, from whom I can learn and who encourage me to be my very best. And those diamonds do exist, even at the executive leadership level. The shift I made that day was nothing short of liberating and game-changing, both for me and for the organization I run.
Mind you, it is equally important that I add value to the experiences of those around me. That symbiosis of care, acuity and support is truly enriching.
Related: 10 Signs People Believe In You and Want You to Succeed

How to cultivate your inner circle as a business leader​

It is essential that you identify those people around you who you feel are assets to your journey, both operationally and emotionally. This is actually a bigger task than you might imagine. While you may find value in a relationship, your inner circle must have profound qualifications from an impact level. Arguably, the number one characteristic you should seek out in an inner-circle candidate is a natural ability to inspire you to do better and be better.


Here are five more qualities to look for when seeking out and homing in on your trusted core group:

1. Shared values and vision​

Identify other leaders and trusted individuals who align with your core values and vision. That synthesis is a foundational element of collaboration and innovation. It inspires meaningful conversations and demonstrates a mutual interest in seeing each other succeed. Nurture connection through consistent, honest communication.

2. Complementary skills and expertise​

While you definitely want alignment in your circle, surrounding yourself with clones likely won't provide you with the enrichment you seek. Build a diverse inner circle by selecting people who possess the skills or expertise you lack. Then, be sure to keep an open ear and learn from their knowledge and proficiencies.

3. Trustworthiness and integrity​

Identify people that you trust implicitly, as well as those who are transparent and forthcoming. This can be a hard one to gauge, but rely on both your ears and your gut. People often demonstrate their level of integrity in a million little ways. Recognize those who are upright even when nobody is looking.


Related: 3 Ways to Lead with Integrity and Purpose

4. Individuals who challenge you​

Many business leaders surround themselves with "yes-people" who are merely kept around to endorse the status quo and feed their egos. Instead, fill your circle with people who aren't afraid to challenge your ideas, ask tough questions and push you out of your comfort zone. Remember, honest feedback is a growth opportunity.

5. Support and respect​

All great relationships are built on mutual respect and emotional support. It is the foundation of most peer advisory boards. Surround yourself with people who not only provide you with professional expertise but also the emotional support to help reconcile and navigate the sometimes-rocky road of business leadership.
Remember what they say: If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room. This ethos challenges us to continually seek out and engage with individuals who elevate our thinking, broaden our perspectives and ultimately make us better leaders.


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